Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Explosion Kills Two Bloggers Testing iPhone 6 Sapphire Screen Durability; Screen Unscathed

SAN DIEGO — (TYDN) An explosion ripped through a small one-bedroom cottage here early Wednesday, killing two bloggers who were testing the durability of the new sapphire screen set to debut in the latest iPhone next month, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Police said the bloggers for MacDroolMag were strapping the explosive C-4 to a sapphire crystal that is said to be the new display for the upcoming iPhone 6. The bomb, however, set off before the bloggers could bring the explosive device outside to some nearby open space and video-tape their test, the authorities said.

Photo: Nick Savchenko, TYDN
Capt. Sherlock Smarms of the San Diego Police Department, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, said the 4.7-inch sapphire survived the blast and lived up to its indestructible reputation.

"We are extremely excited to announce that there wasn't a single scratch on the sapphire crystal," Smarms said. "We believe Apple is making the smart choice with this new sapphire screen."

The authorities withheld the bloggers' names pending notification of next of kin.

The screens are made of layers of man-made sapphire glass that render them able to withstand any force.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Texas Gov. Rick Perry's Criminal Defense Fund Accepting Bitcoin

AUSTIN, Texas — (TYDN) Fresh from being fingerprinted and his mug shot taken, Texas Gov. Rick Perry vowed to fight felony charges of abuse of power, saying Tuesday his defense fund was accepting the crypto currency Bitcoin, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The bold announcement from the Republican stunned pundits from both the left and the right. They said Perry's actions opened up a new currency bank for politicians to dip into when facing corruption charges. Perry's brazen move, these pundits added, takes on even more significance as politicians from across the United States are expected to face graft and other criminal allegations in the coming days, weeks and years.

Photo: Ed Schipul/TYDN
"Perry was the first to seize on the realpolitik that the cyber currency Bitcoin would become an essential underpinning of American political life," said Harvard University historian Klefpt Kilandorian, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This is why Perry's decision is so instrumental in ushering in a fundamental change to the political apparatus."

Bitcoin has been becoming popular. In recent months, Bitcoin ATM machines have cropped up across the country and many businesses have been accepting the new currency. Just last week, for example, the vending machines aboard the International Space Station began accepting bitcoin as payment for foodstuffs.

Perry insiders, meanwhile, said the potential 2016 GOP presidential candidate did not consider the wide-ranging precedent he'd be setting by using Bitcoin to help defend against criminal charges. Instead, Perry insiders told TheYellowDailyNews that the Texas governor's move to Bitcoin was a shot across the bow to Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg and the Travis County Grand Jury, which indicted him last week on corruption allegations.

Perry is accused of abusing his power after vetoing state funds for public corruption prosecutors. Perry, who has decried the indictment against him as outrageous, is expected to be arraigned Friday.

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Monday, August 25, 2014

FCC Fines CBS $1 Million For Uttering "Redskins" During Redskins Broadcast

WASHINGTON — (TYDN) The Federal Communications Commission levied Monday a $1 million fine against CBS for failing to bleep out the word "Redskins" during its Sunday broadcast of the Washington Redskins' pre-season game in Baltimore, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The FCC said CBS announcers during the Redskins matchup with the Baltimore Ravens uttered the word "Redskins" 212 times each on both its video and radio broadcasts Sunday. Media observers said it was the biggest breach of decency standards in the FCC's history of overseeing content on broadcast airwaves.

The fine, which could escalate, nearly doubles the $550,000 indecency sanction imposed on CBS for its 2004 Super Bowl halftime show in which singer Janet Jackson's right breast was exposed for less than a second to millions of prime-time viewers. A federal appeals court in 2008, however, overturned the FCC's indecency fine, ruling that Jackson's breast was "well shaped and pretty decent overall."

Meanwhile, Jackson's Nipplegate was tame in comparison to the Redskins broadcast debacle, an embarrassment that insiders are describing as "Redskinsgate."

"What makes this broadcast even more egregious is that indecent content began being uttered the moment the broadcast began Sunday, and it never stopped for three hours," a source familiar with the investigation told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity.

The commission also is poised to sanction CBS for failing to obscure from television viewers the word "Redskins" embroidered on the Redskins' jerseys, sources familiar with the investigation said. A preliminary analysis of the footage of the Redskins-Ravens game, obtained by TheYellowDailyNews, suggests CBS could have illegally exposed viewers to the "Redskins" jersey embroidery perhaps thousands of times Sunday.

Depending on the outcome of the FCC probe, fines of at least $2 million more could follow, officials said.

CBS announcers Boomer Esiason and Rich Gannon were repeatedly told by the network during commercial breaks to quit referring to the Redskins as the Redskins and to solely call the team, "Washington."

An FCC official, however, said that the commission was mulling questions from CBS and other broadcasters about whether they may call the Redskins team "Washington" without being fined.

"We want to know whether using the term 'Washington' is indecent speech," an NFL Network source told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Shares of Molson Coors Brewing Co. Soar Following "Fat-Burning" Beer Debut

GOLDEN, Colo. — (TYDN) Shares of Canada's Molson Coors Brewing Co. more than doubled Friday after the brewer unveiled an alcoholic, "fat-burning" beverage, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Coors Svelte, a robust dark ale with a 6.9 percent alcohol content by volume, will begin rolling out in the West Coast and appear in commercials on sporting broadcasts and in nudie-magazine print campaigns. The women's ale, called Coors Waif, is a Belgium-style ale with a gravity of 5 percent alcohol, and includes what sources familiar with the beer described as "just a tinge of natural Orange flavorings."

Before becoming Coors Waif testers. Photo: Malingering
Analysts said the proprietary formula, which just finished positive clinical trials on humans and monkeys, is the "Holy Grail" of ingredients that beermakers have been searching for—especially in the United States—where every 10 out of 10 Americans are considered obese.

"Say goodbye to the beer belly," Bank of America beverage-industry analyst Chip Johnson said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This is the mother of all inventions. No, it's the Holy Grail of inventions that makes the debut of light beer three decades ago seem simply irrelevant."

Nutritionists are recommending that those overweight drink at least a 6-pack a day and those "extremely" obese intake at least a 12-pack daily.

"We urge those undertaking this diet to exercise caution when operating heavy equipment," the American Heart Association said in an exclusive statement to TheYellowDailyNews.

The U.S. Department of Labor cautioned employees to consult with their employers before commencing what regulators are calling the "Beer Diet."

Shares of Molson Coors on the New York Stock Exchange closed higher at $151.29, more than doubling from Friday's opening bell. The stock was up another 10 percent in after-hours trading.
Three weeks after becoming Coors Waif testers. Photo Bruno Casonato

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