Sunday, July 24, 2016

NRA implores its members to stop shooting, killing people

FAIRFAX, Va.—(TYDN) Wayne LaPierre, the National Rifle Association chief executive officer, asked the group's faithful followers Sunday to stop shooting and killing people, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

LaPierre's comments at its national membership meeting in the lobbying group's hometown here follow a recent spate of murders across the globe, in which NRA members sprayed people with bullets for no apparent reason. LaPierre said it was the victims' fault for not wearing bullet-proof vests while out in public. But he also said he's growing tired of having to respond to the almost daily and indiscriminate murdering of non-bullet-proof-vest-wearing innocents.
NRA chief Wayne LaPierre urges members to quit killing people. Photo: TYDN
"It frankly shocks the conscience that people would go out in public and not wear bullet proof clothing knowing that everybody is packing heat because of the NRA's intense lobbying," LaPierre, wearing his Sunday best Kevlar vest, told the faithful here to intense applause. "But you must reduce the number of murders and save your bullets for when the Queen of England comes knocking on your door."

Second Amendment analysts told TheYellowDailyNews in exclusive interviews that LaPierre's comments face an uphill battle. "There's an estimated 4.5 million NRA members, and you know some of them are unable to just sleep with their weapons," Joel Jarnestein, a Stanford University constitutional scholar, told TheYellowDailyNews.

Jon Smith, a 29-year-old Georgia hog farmer who traveled here for the annual NRA meeting, told TheYellowDailyNews that he'll try to reduce the number of people he kills each year with his automatic rifle. "It's kinda boring just killing pigs with this thing," Smith said. "And my wives want me to stop bringing it to bed with us."

LaPierre's speech, however, underscored a growing discord in the NRA ranks. Many members suggested that LaPierre was kowtowing to the DC elite, according to an investigation by TheYellowDailyNews.

"If he's now saying we should stop the killing, then I'm having a hard time understanding the NRA's motto of 'guns don't kill people, people do,'" Mark Jones, an Idaho potato farmer, told TheYellowDailyNews here on the convention floor. "It just doesn't seem to make sense anymore. Who is Wayne LaPierre to tell me how I can use my assault rifles."

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Walt Disney Co. Copyrights English Alphabet, Eyes Other Languages

BURBANK, Calif.—(TYDN) The US Copyright Office granted the Walt Disney Co. a copyright to the English alphabet Friday, setting the stage for the entertainment concern to seek licensing agreements with all companies or individuals using any combination of the letters without its permission, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Because of the so-called "Mickey Mouse" doctrine Congress adopted in 1998, Disney's newest copyright will last indefinitely, and take priority on court dockets over other civil and criminal matters.

Analysts said it was the first time an entire language was copyrighted, a move these analysts told TheYellowDailyNews is expected to give the entertainment company even greater control over the English-speaking public. What's more, Disney is expected to expand its language copyright portfolio to other tongues, including the popular languages of Spanish, Japanese, Russian, Mandarin and others.

Several Disney sources, who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic, told TheYellowDailyNews in exclusive interviews that Disney, with copyright in hand, is privately negotiating with the White House to rename the United States to "Disneyland." Government sources told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity that the name change would soon be announced—a move that was already in the works well before Disney even applied for its alphabet copyright.

TYDN file photo.
Meanwhile, Disney is privately working on deals to purchase several Pacific Northwest paper companies. This, sources familiar with the talks tell TheYellowDailyNews, would enable Disney to have enough paper to print out licensing agreements and lawsuits targeting anybody and everybody using the alphabet without Disney's permission.

"We're not sure if there's enough trees in the Pacific Northwest to meet our needs, but it's a start," a well-placed Disney official, who requested anonymity and was granted anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic, exclusively told TheYellowDailyNews. "Just think about how many envelopes we'll need."

These same Disney officials, however, promised they wouldn't abuse the copyright.

They told TheYellowDailyNews that the entertainment giant would soon set up so-called "infringement-free zones" at its US-based theme parks to give park-goers a chance to speak in English without having to pay any licensing fees. For park-goers to qualify to enter these "infringement free zones," they must wear and purchase a $29.99 Mickey Mouse or Minnie Mouse ears hat, these sources said.

"These infringement free zones clearly demonstrate that Disney isn't the copyright maximalist that everybody says it is," a high-ranking Harvard University copyright scholar told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because she feared being sued for speaking without a licensing agreement.

All the while, as news spread of Disney's copyright, which was first reported by TheYellowDailyNews, interest in intellectual property law skyrocketed at US law schools.

Disney's stock soared after the copyright was announced. But trading on the New York Stock Exchange was halted shortly after when the exchange's servers collapsed on record trading volume.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

NRA: Orlando nightclub attack would have been avoided if everyone carried assault rifles

ORLANDO, Fla.—(TYDN)  The National Rifle Association said Saturday that gun control measures were responsible for the Orlando nightclub attack by a lone gunman who killed 49 partygoers, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The nation's biggest gun lobby said that gunman, Omar Mateen, would not have been able to kill 49 people June 12 and wound dozens of others at the Pulse club with an AR-15 assault rifle if everybody in the club was armed with an AR-15 or other weapon.

"Gun control advocates once again have blood on their hands," said DeWayne Pierrovitch, the NRA's chief executive officer, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "There's absolutely no way Mateen would have walked into that club and started shooting everybody if everybody in that club also had an assault weapon. He just would not have done it, and everybody knows that."

TYDN file photo/Joe Loong
Pierrovitch's comments come as the nation mourns the Pulse club's victims amid a renewed debate about gun control. What's more, Second Amendment analysts suggested that the Supreme Court, backed by NRA lobbying, might now declare any form of gun restrictions illegal in the tragedy's wake.

"Jesus Christ, everyday there's another bloodbath in America and it's all because everybody isn't armed with an assault weapon—and that's because the Supreme Court hates America and is in President Barack Obama's pocket," Harvard University scholar Amid Dravovitch told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "It simply shocks the conscience to go out in public and not see everybody, except for the criminals, carrying assault weapons. When will this madness end?"

Family members of the victims expressed outrage, too. Speaking at a downtown vigil here, a mother of one of the dead Pulse victims said she felt responsible, in part, for the tragedy.

"My son was a good man and didn't deserve this," the mother, who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "I found a stockpile of assault rifles in his closet and made him throw them away."

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Game of Thrones Blonde Woman Does Nude Scene

NEW YORK—(TYDN) That one Game of Thrones blonde woman with long, braided hair was involved in a nude scene in the latest episode, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The nude scene involving the character Daenerys, who is a slave-liberating queen of some place and who has a few fire-breathing dragons, was much anticipated and boosted HBO ratings enormously.

Analysts said it was Daenerys' best nude scene since her last nude scene in season 3, and it came at a pivotal moment in the 6-season-long series.

"Nobody really knows what this show is about anymore, except that there's a few characters that we really want to see naked, and up popped the devil in the latest episode," TV Guide movie critic Jake Jonstein said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This underscores how absolutely brilliant this show is."

Viewers were elated, too, as the actress was shown nude for several seconds after walking out of a burning hut, unscathed whatsoever.

"This show has got a bunch of pretty people backstabbing each other and trying to rule some place somewhere, and one of these places has a giant wall, and I've been awaiting for Daenerys to get naked for several seasons now," one viewer told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity. "Sure, that other witch-like woman gets naked all the time, but she's no Daenerys."

Other TV critics, however, blasted the show, saying it needed more nude scenes to remain relevant.
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