Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Debate Analysis: Obama, Romney Thought Opponent Was a 'Lying Dick' Dozens of Times


Photo: TYDN Staff

DENVER -- (TYDN) In the first presidential debate leading to the November elections, President Barack Obama and GOP hopeful Mitt Romney each showed signs dozens of times Wednesday that they believed their rival was a 'lying dick,' TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

According to an exhaustive analysis by TheYellowDailyNews, which included dozens of interviews with mind readers, body language experts and historians, the debate ended in a dead heat: each candidate displayed signs 37 times that they thought their opponent was a lying dick.

Analysts said it was the first time in the nation's history that a presidential debate ended in a dead heat. "Usually, it is obvious that one of the candidates thinks the other is a lying dick more than the other candidate thinks his rival is a lying dick," Harvard University presidential historian Richard Cox said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This was an extraordinary debate. It's usually always obvious one candidate thinks the other is a lying dick more than the other candidate thinks the other is a lying dick."

Aides from each camp disputed the results. They said the TYDN analysis was off base.

"Clearly, Romney exhibited in his facial movements that Obama was a lying dick way more times than Obama's features showed that Obama thought Romney was a lying dick," a Romney campaign aide told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity.

An Obama aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, disputed the assertion.

"It is undisputed that Obama thought Romney was a lying dick way more times than Romney thought Obama was a lying dick," the aide said. "I mean, could it not be any more obvious?"

TheYellowDailynews analysis showed that each candidate bit their tongue, lowered their head or showed an open smirk that equated to disdain for the other an equal number of times. That each candidate thought the other was a lying dick was even more pronounced when the candidates discussed the federal government's role, taxes, health care and education, according to TheYellowDailyNews analysis.

"You could just see and sense that each candidate thought the other was a lying dick on countless occasions," Fox News language expert Tonya Reiman said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "That each candidate thought the other was a lying dick an equal amount of times simply shocks the conscience."

The TYDN analysis had a margin of error rating of plus-or-minus 2.5 lying dick expressions.

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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Romney Takes 6 Wives to Shore Up Mormon, Female and Minority Voters


Mitt Romney's 6 Wives. Photo: anyjazz65/Flickr 


WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) With just a month before the elections, GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has taken six wives -- distancing himself from his economic platform -- and instead focusing on trying to shore up female, minority and Mormon voters, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Romney was said to have married the wives -- ranging from Chinese, Japanese, Caucasian, African American and Mexican to Native American -- in a hastily called marathon ceremony at an undisclosed location, sources close to the nuptials told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity.

Campaign aides, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because they have not been authorized to speak to TheYellowDailyNews, said the marriages signify that Romney is now distancing himself from attacks on President Barack Obama's economic platform. Polls show voters are increasingly becoming more optimistic about the economy, and suggest voters are more likely to trust Obama on the economy and jobs.

Analysts said Romney's bold move marks the first time the campaign has turned from the ailing economy. "This political stunt, call it whatever you want, might just put Romney in the Oval Office," said Jerrold Wifler, a Georgetown University presidential historian. "I seriously doubt the Obama camp has the wherewithal to counter this."

But Obama aides quickly blasted Romney's strategy, calling the devout Mormon's move a farce.

"There is no way he could have consummated these marriages this weekend, so he technically isn't married and this is just a giant ruse," an Obama campaign aide with direct knowledge of the situation told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity. "Our medical experts say it's impossible, even with top-of-the-line male enhancement products."

But a Romney aide quickly fired back, suggesting the Obama camp was out of touch.

"Jesus Christ, haven't they ever watched a porno movie before?" a well-placed Romney operative said on condition of anonymity and was granted anonymity by TheYellowDailyNews.

The aide also said Romney promised not to push for multiple-wife tax credits until after the November elections.

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