Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Supreme Court Justices Upgrade Tech To Commodore 64

WASHINGTON—(TYDN) When the Supreme Court's justices returned to work here Tuesday, they were greeted to find atop their desks new technology—the Commodore 64, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

A court spokesman said the move to the Commodore 64, which debuted in the 1980s and remains the world's highest-selling computer, was a massive upgrade from the justices' manual typewriters, pagers and fax machines. Sources familiar with the upgrade said the justices would also be given Internet access for the first time.

Chief Justice John Roberts' new tech setup. Photo: Steve Petrucelli/TYDN
Analysts said the justices move to start using the Internet, even if by dial-up modem technology, could help them better understand disputes involving technology.

"It's like, when the court upholds giant sentences for schmucks sharing kiddie porn on the Internet, the justices will at least have had some minimal exposure to the Internet and have a vague idea of what the Internet is," Harvard University high court scholar Jonas Grongstein said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

Sources familiar with the court's tech upgrade told TheYellowDailyNews that court staff decided not to provide the justices with smart phones. The plan to give them iPhones was scrapped amid fears the justices would be unable to power on the devices or keep them powered.

"We decided that the justices' clerks had better things to do," a high court insider told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic. "It's really sad because the iPhone is so gorgeous, too."

Other court insiders said that, during briefings about how the Internet works, many of the justices were getting confused by the term servers and kept thinking dinner was ready for them.

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1 comment :

  1. I love the last sentence. Very amusing. TriplePeace.

    ReplyDelete

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