Apple Inc.'s latest gadget, the iPad, offers an intoxicating, sensual and titillating user experience right from the start, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.
|The iPad beckons to be groped from all sides, top to bottom|
"We want to marry it," decried Wired's technology review blog, Gadget Lab. "Anything less is adultery."
A New York Times headline exclaimed, "Gadget Envy." Michael Arrington's TechCrunch said the "iPad blows" while Gizmodo proclaimed "This Sucks."
The iPad's neatly trimmed and glistening box opens to a quivering landscape begging to be groped over and again. Our testing included fingering iPad's pert body in many positions, even upside down. Its sweet scent kept up us coming for more. And we did.
The iPad's near-edible curves beckon to be fondled, to be pinched and to be stroked in just the right sultry positions.
By reason of necessity, this reporter began imagining baseball scores – all to no avail.
In the end, the iPad also performed well on our lap, on the desk, on the couch, on the bed and even on the breakfast table. It even performed well in a motor vehicle, both moving and parked.
The iPad likes it dirty, too. So avoid showering with it.
In all, we highly recommend this bold, erotic and sassy $500-plus gadget. It's not for the meager.