Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Chavez, Castro Applaud U.S. Nationalization Plan

CARACAS, Venezuela -- (TYDN) President Bush and key U.S. lawmakers were here Wednesday seeking advice and financial assistance from the leaders of Venezuela, Cuba, China, North Korea and Russia -- nations welcoming the United States to the expanding club of communist countries.

Sources familiar with the daylong meeting here told TheYellowDailyNews that the leaders focused, in part, on how the United States should portray the U.S. government's upcoming $700 billion purchase of U.S. private banking assets with public money. And Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez and the other leaders were said to be ecstatic that the United States was taking its first steps toward nationalizing its economy.

Castro, bedridden for months and thought to be dead, arrived here earlier in the day and congratulated President Bush for peacefully steering the United States toward communism through stoking fear of the apocalypse in the U.S. populace.

"In 1959, I fought the capitalists with machetes and arms and overthrew their aggression, seized their factories and have now built a country that the United States is beginning to emulate," Castro told reporters outside Chavez's presidential palace here. "Mr. Bush and his nation's lawmakers have done what I have done -- enriching themselves and cronies in the process -- with simple fear mongering and without firing a single shot. For that, they should be applauded."

Sources said there was brief unease in the meeting room when Bush said he was not immediately nationalizing U.S. health care and the energy sector. After a brief recess, the foreign leaders acquiesced, agreeing that full-fledged Eastern-style communism was not built in a single day.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Democrat of San Francisco, and Henry Reid, the Senate Majority leader, were here seeking the foreign leaders' blessings ahead of a Wednesday afternoon U.S. Senate vote to nationalize the U.S. economy.

Sources said the two Americans were tough negotiators, persuading Chavez to subsidize 40 percent of the United States' oil, and striking a deal with North Korea to supply nuclear arms to guard against an attack from Mexico, Canada and the European Union.

"This goes to show that a nationalized economy is a free-market economy," Reid and Pelosi said in a joint statement. (U.S.-government-owned media refused to broadcast the remark, saying it sent a mixed message and could confuse the American populace.)

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev also pledged oil after bumping into his Alaskan neighbor, Sarah Palin, at the grocery store earlier in the week.

American presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain also issued a joint statement here. But as of press time, it was still being translated.

President Bush agreed to accept $5 billion in U.S. aid -- $4 billion for the U.S. treasury and $1 billion for himself and other U.S. government officials.

"Fidel, the United States now formally apologizes to you for the CIA trying to poison you just enough so your beard would fall off," a chuckling Bush said as be began to embrace the aging Castro and the other leaders. "And Hugo, Kim Jong II, Dmitry and you from China -- fughettaboutit. Let bygones be bygones."

Photo: John Repka

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Wall Street Execs Wallow in $700 Billion ‘Dough Line’

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) It was a solemn and grim day here at the U.S. Capitol early Monday as thousands of hungry executives began lining up outside the U.S. Mint in anticipation Congress was within hours of approving a $700 billion Wall Street bailout package.

Analysts suggested the so-called "dough line" was reminiscent of the bread lines during the Great Depression, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Some of the executives' stomachs appeared bloated by hours of hunger pains. Their morning Champagne-filled brunches at Spago and other five-star restaurants had begun to wear off hours ago. Their limo drivers -- caught in a sea of armored-money-carrying vehicles -- were not immediately available to deliver emergency wine-and-cheese supplies.

The chaos was part of an economic crisis unseen in American history -- a melee mirroring a Somali food distribution center as executives battled to get themselves and their armored vehicles closer to the U.S. Mint handout.

Politicians, meanwhile, seized on the silver lining that the "dough lines" offered. In addition to adding Regis Philbin's face to Old Glory, they said the bailout's benefits were beginning to be seen. New jobs were already being created by the bailout hours before Congress was to vote on the $700 billion giveaway.

Many distraught executives, wondering where their next meal would come from, had hired homeless men and women to wait in line to the U.S. Mint as their proxies. Many were paid the executives' leftover Sunday brunch crumbs, despite some advertisements for the job asking "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."

"This just goes to show that the trickle-down theory is working even hours before we dole out $700 billion in taxpayer money," said Nancy Pelosi, the House speaker from San Francisco. "Let this be a lesson. The creation of these new jobs for the homeless, what I call 'bailout proxy' jobs, shows that the free-market economy works."

Still, many of the executives stood in line without "bailout proxies," refusing to subsidize what they said was a "welfare class of people eating off of our entrepeneurialism."

In response, Capitol emergency medical workers began spoon-feeding caviar to these starving renegade executives in hopes they would take the bailout money instead of creating class warfare along the handout line. The ugliness was underscored by many of these bloated men showing up in public with their Armani suit jacket buttons unfastened -- a scene so obscene that many media outlets refused to publish photographs of its obsceneness.

"This lineup here to the U.S. Mint is really getting hot and heavy, with the bourgeoisie executives, and the proletariat executives really starting to build a venom for one another," Karl Engels, the District of Columbia police commissioner, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "If we appease both of these classes, we think we can placate their anger from spilling over to the masses."

Moments later, however, a melee broke out when one of the executives' armored-money-carrying vehicles stalled along C Street here -- apparently running out of gas. Rescue workers descended upon the vehicle, filled it with gasoline and immediately loaded it with wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of cash before sending it along.

All the while, a third class of executives in line here were unsure whether they would take the billions in handouts.

"If I agree to take this money, I'm not sure whether I could look at my children, wife and servants the same way as I've done before," said one distraught executive, who requested anonymity. "I'm afraid that, after the servants clear dinner and put my children to bed, I'm afraid of losing my self respect, that my trophy wife won't want to sleep with me anymore."

One U.S. Mint official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Congress had anticipated such "third-party embarrassed executive" holdouts and were set to approve measures to placate these executives caught in a web of wary wives and mistresses. To keep the U.S. economy from collapsing, these "third-party embarrassed executive" holdouts will be provided coupons to redeem for a 5-carat diamond tennis bracelet, a house in the Hamptons, weekly messages for life, facials for life, manicures for life and "an extra $1 million monthly allowance," sources said.

PhotoJames Cridland

Thursday, September 25, 2008

‘Overzealous’ Accounting Caused Economic Collapse

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) New and enhanced accounting standards adopted in the wake of Enron's implosion has prompted the U.S. economy's collapse, according to an analysis by TheYellowDailyNews released Friday.

As corporations began to comport with the tough accounting standards, investors eventually lost confidence and the economy slowly and quietly drifted into an economic state unseen since the Great Depression, TheYellowDailyNews' analysis concluded.

The analysis shows that the 2002 Sarbanes-Oxley Act and follow-up rules mandating truthful corporate accounting has slowly fostered an uncertain economic environment that "eventually caused the financial markets to implode."

"After companies were forced to declare their real assets and debts, to provide a true picture of their economic status, the markets became roiled in uncertainty and economic indicators slowly started to burst asunder," according to the 5,321-page study by TheYellowDailyNews. "Once there was sunshine caused by these overzealous regulations, the markets realized that the confidence it was running on was a fig leaf."

Accounting standards also requiring companies to account for the backdating of stock options, according to TheYellowDailyNews' examination, "unfairly forced the nation's public companies to account in their ledgers that they were enriching their executives with stock at backdated prices -- prices that were guaranteed to trade at higher prices while devaluing the public's shares."

The report found that the new accounting rules exposed that the nation's stock-issuing companies were, in essence, printing money via backdating the price of stock options and "prompting the financial markets to collapse."

In response, Congress and President Bush are mulling legislation to provide Wall Street companies some $700 billion â.. equaling about $3,000 for every American â.. to wipe their unbalanced accounting sheets clean.

But sources participating in the high-level meetings said many members of Congress believe solely throwing money at the problem won't provide a long-term solution. So presidential candidates Barack Obama, John McCain and several lawmakers from both sides of the aisle are conditioning their support of the $700 billion bailout on the loosening of accounting rules, source said.

"Our nation's economy can only work when there is confidence in the system, and when you shine light on the system, people lose confidence," according to one source involved in the negotiations, who requested anonymity and was granted anonymity by TheYellowDailyNews.

But lawmakers are facing stiff resistance from President Bush, who aides say would cave to demands to relaxing accounting rules in return for guarantees that Congress would not impose a salary cap on executives whose companies would receive the $700 billion bailout.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Treasury Giveaway Stalled; Keymaker a ‘Foreigner’

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) Bi-partisan congressional bailout legislation handing out thousands of keys unlocking the U.S. Treasury to top Wall Street executives stalled early Wednesday amid concerns the winning bidder to produce the keys "might be a foreigner," TheYellowDailyNews has learned

The imbroglio could derail legislation providing keys to open the U.S. Treasury to executives from Wall Street firms that have failed or are failing â.. legislation Congress and President Bush said is needed to save the U.S. economy from collapse. The disclosure by TheYellowDailyNews on Tuesday that the keymaker might be from Dubai created a schism in Congress threatening to kill the legislation from being enacted and potentially allowing for an economic crisis bigger than the Great Depression.

In a rare bipartisan scene, lawmakers from both sides of the aisle gathered on the steps of the Capitol here to chant in unison that they would rather see the nation's economy implode than cede control to "a keymaker who might be a foreigner."

"It is unacceptable that a foreigner, one believed from Dubai -- in the Middle East of all places -- was awarded the contract to make U.S. Treasury keys to dole out to Wall Street executives. These executives already have enough to worry about, like how to spend their own personal wealth that outstrips the balance sheets of their failing companies that are hurting America to no fault of their own," lawmakers chanted in unison outside the White House.

The lawmakers added: "Sure, these executives employ foreigners to clean their toilets and take care of their kids. But to accept a key from a foreigner to go into and unlock the U.S. Treasury and print as much money as they want, that's just un-American and unacceptable."

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson devised the plan to give keys to unlock the department's Bureau of Engraving and Printing to at least 5,000 Wall Street executives as part of a $1 trillion plan to keep the U.S. economy from slipping into Depression.

Democrats scored a key victory in the legislation, demanding that the Treasury hold a raffle and award one key to an American citizen earning at least $120,000 annually, not including deductions for capital gains taxes.

Still, Paulson urged lawmakers to sign off on the bailout despite the keymaking contract being awarded to Fasad Amail, a 19-year-old Christian who fled the Middle East with his four younger siblings. They escaped persecution after their parents were killed for refusing to join the jihad and travel to Iraq to fight "The Great Satan."

But lawmakers balked at Paulson. Despite Amail's $1 per key bid -- a $5,000 contract in all -- American's deserve better than being rescued by a "towel head," the lawmakers chanted on the capitol steps here.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, while criticizing the deal for only allowing the executives to print a combined $1 trillion in greenbacks, said Amail's contract with Paulson must be broken for the good of America.

"We would rather our country burst asunder than be saved by this towel head," Pelosi said in an exclusive interview. "This isn't about politics. This is about what's right."

In response, the Bush administration nullified its contract with Amail and decided to award a no-bid contract to an undisclosed bidder for an undisclosed price. Executives with balance-sheet losses ending in odd numbers are to get keys to the U.S. Treasury's mint as early as Friday.

Meanwhile, Amail could not be reached for comment. Sources, who requested anonymity, said Amail was being detained at a San Francisco immigration holding pen pending a January 2011 initial hearing date.

Photo: moriza

Sunday, September 21, 2008

ANALYSIS: Palin GainsWeight, Loses Popularity

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin energized the Republican ticket to the White House when she debuted last month at the GOP convention wearing a tight skirt as her perkiness surprised voters on both sides of the political aisle.

But a month and an additional 5 to 7 or more pounds later, her allure to the coveted group of undecided male heterosexual voters ages 18 and up is starting to slip, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Palin, 44, is a former runner up in the Miss Alaska contest and has been described by colleagues as a "barracuda." She is the vice presidential running mate to Sen. John McCain, who tapped her in a bid to shore up two never-before-galvanized voter segments of heterosexual men: Those desiring to have sex with a vice presidential candidate and those at least wanting to see a vice presidential candidate naked.

"This segment of coveted voters is seemingly growing tired of her repeating herself over and again and she seems to be getting heavier," Nielsen Media analyst Dexter Moninaster said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This voter segment is used to this type of phenomena and was looking for something more instead of the same old, same old thing they're used to coming home to every night after work."

But GOP strategist Frank Zscheckouts said McCain's pick of Palin underscored "a political suaveness, of really giving voters what they wanted."

"This is a non issue to begin with. These two coveted voter segments can associate with this and they crave it whether they know it or not," Zscheckouts said. "The election is in November, so she can't get much bigger by Election Day anyway. And she's years away from Hillary."

A CNN-ABC-CNBC-Wall Street Journal-New York Times-Los Angeles Times-Neilsen Media Research independent poll of likely voters in the coveted, undecided male category said the media has not done a good enough job of exploring whether Palin watches football.

"Her going hunting is capturing a lot of voters in this coveted category," poll spokeswoman Iwana Baelin said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "There's no pro football in Alaska, and that's really hurting her allure in the coveted category of voters who might be more accepting of who she is, or who she is becoming."


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Central America Blocking U.S. Marxist Aggression

SAN SALVADOR, El Salvador -- (TYDN) The presidents from Mexico and the seven nations of Central America convened high-level talks here late Thursday to consider shuttering Mexico's border with the United States and other measures in a bid to block U.S. Communist aggression from spilling into Mexico and beyond, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The meeting by the so-called "Grupo Ocho" was called here by Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega to consider how to respond to various bailouts and purchases of American financial institutions by the U.S. Federal Reserve totaling $900 billion. And while the Grupo Ocho session was in progress at the capitol here, the U.S. Federal Reserve and Congress announced it was considering purchasing and bailing out more U.S. banks -- to the tune of $1 trillion -- to prevent the collapse of what once was considered the world's foremost capitalistic society.

"We Nicaraguans are a capitalistic nation, a Democratic nation and we cannot, and will not let the U.S. seeds of Communism infect Mexico and domino through Central America and our country," Ortega said. "This Marxist movement cannot, and will not, be tolerated."

U.S. President George Bush, whose second term expires in January, urged the Mexican government not to seal its 2,000-mile border with the United States.

"Mexico has some of the finest border factories paying good, decent, $1-an-hour wages. And if it shutters the border, more and more hard-working and God-fearing Americans will be out of work," Bush told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview at the Oval office. "These workers aren't Communists. They're decent people who would never consider having an abortion, let alone afford one."

Analysts, however, said it might be too late to stop Communism's domino through the region. They say the United States' Communism has already begun to spread through Mexico and into some parts of Central America. "We're seeing a lot of fresh paintings of Bush on houses, storefronts and hotels all across the region," said Karl Engels, a financier with Banc Mexico. "The murals all read, 'Viva Bush, Viva Communismo.' "

Meanwhile, the Latin presidents here expressed alarm that America's Red Menace had blossomed almost overnight, leading some analysts to suggest the Latin leaders were "inept" for not seeing the pending crisis coming.

In response, the presidents were considering blacking out U.S. media accounts of the American Communist insurgency.

"If the peoples of our region hear news of America's new Communism, that America's banks, insurance and mortgagers are all owned or managed by the U.S. government, our citizens might embrace that and also succumb to the evils of Communism," said Elías Antonio Saca González, the president of El Salvador. "We must keep the enemy in check."

The Grupo Ocho consists of Mexico, Belize, Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Belize and Panama.

According to sources, Russian President Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev sent a delegation to the Grupo Ocho meeting in what analysts said could be a prelude to a resurrection of the Cold War, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

"Russia promised the presidents all types of arms and favorable trade terms and subsides -- anything that they wanted to prevent Communism from spilling through Latin America," said one Russian source, who requested anonymity and was granted anonymity by TheYellowDailyNews.

Meanwhile, Canada, which fronts the United States' north, was considering sealing its borders. But officials there concluded a closure would create a humanitarian crisis of epic proportions by denying millions of Americans affordable prescription medication.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Fed Chairman Demands 'Huger' Executive Pay

New York -- Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said late Tuesday the latest Wall Street crisis would had been averted had executives at some of the nation's biggest failed or failing mortgage, banking and insurance companies earned more than the "paltry millions they took home each month."

Bernanke, speaking to reporters here outside the New York Stock Exchange, said "private jets, tens of millions in yearly base pay, tens of millions more annually in stock options, and retirement and health care benefits totaling millions is, quite simply, inadequate compensation."

"Because of the paltry millions they took home each month, the taxpayers were forced to step in with hundreds of billions of dollars to bail out many corporations -- corporations that hate government intervention," Bernanke added. "Executives require huger compensation."

Bernanke, a President Bush appointee, chided the media and economists who have been suggesting that the turmoil on Wall Street was caused by shady business practices sanctioned by chief executives. "Make no mistake, the executives' practices of perpetually funding and insuring the real estate sector had nothing to do with inflating the housing market and precipitating the housing bubble and associated sectors," Bernanke said.

"This crisis is due in large part to greedy homebuyers, and shareholders and boards of directors looking to squeeze every dime out of Wall Street's top executives," Bernanke said. "These executives, in turn, failed their companies because they were too focused on their pay than the task at hand. They were doomed to fail."

The Dow Jones Industrials spiked 120 points following Bernanke's remarks.

Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal immediately posted an editorial on its web site declaring Bernanke, "The King of Finance."

In response, presidential contenders Sen. John McCain, the Republican nominee, and Sen. Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee, each began airing commercials ahead of the November election demanding that Congress immediately boost top executive pay.

The commercials included titles like "Big Exec Pay Keeps the Taxpayer Funded Bailout Away" and "If Executives Aren't Uber Rich, the Economy Will Fall in the Ditch."

Among other Wall Street developments, they include: The Fed agreed to provide $200 billion in so-called emergency "bridge loans" to top executives rattled by the housing bubble that is expected to cost America tens of thousands of jobs. That move, which is expected to calm investor jitters, follows U.S. taxpayers' bailout of financial arm Bear Stearns, mortgage giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, and the $85 billion loan the Fed announced late Tuesday to insurance behemoth AIG Inc.

Photo: AMagill

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bush to Americans: ‘You are Not Dead Because of Me’

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) President Bush, marking the seventh anniversary of the Sept. 11 terror attacks, said Thursday all Americans would be dead if it was not for his administration's actions following the worst act of terrorism on U.S. soil.

"You're not dead because of me," Bush told mourners here in a solemn speech under cool, cloudy skies -- a day quite unlike the crisp, sunny day on which the attacks occurred. "You have taken your lives for granted because, following the attacks, the country has seen the onset of two wars, Hurricane Katrina, the collapse of the housing market and the banking system. Human nature to forget has long kicked in."

Bush was speaking eloquently here outside the Pentagon, where 184 men, women and children lost their lives when a hijacked plane piloted by Saudis crashed into the side of the nation's military headquarters -- a day that changed the world forever.

The commander in chief said Americans, because of him, have been alive for 2,557 days since that attack, and a similar one that felled the twin towers at New York's World Trade Center the same day. As many as 2,500 innocents perished there "along with the symbol of capitalism," he said.

"Our military is now engaged with the enemy in the Middle East, where more than 4,000 of our soldiers and countless tens of thousands of others â.. men, woman and children -- are involved in trying to survive a terror attack every day so you can, and will, live another day," Bush told thousands of mourners who began weeping at his feet here.

"Our policies, including forbidding travelers from bringing their deodorant on airlines, have prevented numerous terror attacks here at home. Disclosing what terror attacks I'm speaking of would make us ripe for another attack," Bush added.

Bush, who was careful not to politicize his speech, continued, saying he "invaded Iraq a long time ago, for reasons that escape me, and that the carnage there and in my war in Afghanistan and elsewhere is keeping you alive and you don't even know it."

Bush said because of him, Americans "have the freedom to pretend that I haven't kept you alive for the 2,557 days following the terror attacks, that I haven't secured you're freedom and your right to vote for new leaders who will also keep you alive."

Presidential rivals, Sen. John McCain, and Sen. Barack Obama, declined comment. They had agreed to suspend, for one day only, invoking the Sept. 11 attacks for political gains ahead of the November election.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

In First Interview, Palin Says Government ‘Too Big’

NEW YORK -- (TYDN) Republican Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, in her first media interview since Sen. John McCain tapped her to be his presidential running mate last month, said late Sunday that government was "too big" and that the free market should prevail.

Palin, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews at its Wall Street offices here, applauded the federal government's move Sunday to take over Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae in a bid to keep the two mortgage giants from failing. The financial catastrophes would have made home and auto loans harder to get and taken the nation's housing collapse to a new level of crisis.

"Government is too big and we need to reduce that," said Palin, echoing remarks she made Wednesday at the Republican National Convention. "The free engine of our capitalistic system, not government intervention, is what will keep America thriving."

The government on Sunday agreed to pump billions of dollars into Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and assume responsibility for trillions of dollars of their debt while handing control of the companies to federal regulators. The takeovers mark the most dramatic government effort thus far to stem the financial chaos precipitated by the housing bust.

Speaking to editors here at TheYellowDailyNews' financial desk, Palin supported the Bush administration's decision in March to float billions in lower-than-market loans to JP Morgan to buy out failing financial arm Bear Stearns, which was victimized by shoddy homebuyers defaulting on their loans in record numbers.

"Only with an uninhibited, free market system can America set an example to the rest of the world that communism, socialism -- call it what you will -- doesn't work," Palin said. "Governments should exercise restraint and not meddle in the marketplace. Market forces should be free of government intrusion."

She said a McCain-Palin White House would inject the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. with hundreds of billions of dollars in needed cash. The FDIC's job is to have enough money to insure all deposit accounts in the U.S. of less than $100,00. With bank failures on the rise, the FDIC is behind billions in unfunded reserves.

A McCain-Palin administration, Palin said in the exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, would allow the failure of the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp., a government-backed fund that insures the retirement benefits of nearly 44 million Americans in 30,460 pension plans nationwide.

"These lazy pensioners taking a free ride will be forced back into the workforce and would stimulate Big Business with their minimum wage earnings," Palin said. "That's the American Way."

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Presidential Candidates Pledge ‘Issues’ Campaign

St. Paul, Minn. -- (TYDN) With the conclusion of the Republican National Convention here late Thursday, Sen. John McCain and his Democratic opponent, Sen. Barack Obama, pledged to campaign on the "issues."

Historians said it was a bold move by both candidates to risk stating their opinion on issues â.. opinions that are likely to shift as does the political climate.

"That these candidates are willing to announce where they stand on the issues is unprecedented and likely to change the course of politicking for generations to come," said Darin Spoutolovitch, a Harvard University historian and former aide to President Ronald Reagan. "Never will there have been an election for the presidency with so much debate centered on the issues."

Political insiders said the focus on the issues is likely to favor McCain, the Arizona senator and former prisoner of war in Vietnam. That his surprise running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, was able to woo Americans by eloquently reciting a speech written for her Wednesday evening at the Republicans' convention here shows that McCain has the upper hand when it comes to the issues.

"The voters are really in touch with McCain and Palin, who I dub 'The Living Room Candidate,' because the candidates and electorate are so focused on the issues and would like to have Sarah in their living rooms," said Braden McPontificator, a Republican election strategist.

For their part, Democratic strategists countered.

"Obama, the senator from Illinois, is much more focused on the issues than is McCain and Palin," said Jordan Herdit, of the New York lobbying firm of Herdit, Lamey, Plumpkin and Xorciando. "There's nobody better to discuss the issues than Obama and his running mate, the Delaware Senator Joe Biden, who isn't afraid to really drive home what others say about the issues."

In an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, Obama said he is the better man to be commander in chief of the United States because he and his running mate have a better grasp of the issues.

"I promise to help American's with their issues and can relate to their issues better than can my opponent," Obama said.

McCain, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, disagreed. "I understand the issues much better than the other candidate and promise to fight for those issues," McCain said.

Still, non-partisan strategist Joana Paxila said the election is going to be a test of both parties' sincerity.

"They both have issues," said Paxila, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Analysis: Palin Strong VP Choice Despite Ethics Probe

St. Paul, Minn.-- (TYDN) That Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is undergoing an ethics inquiry in her home state makes her well qualified as the running mate to Republican presidential candidate John McCain, according to an exhaustive analysis by TheYellowDailyNews unveiled early Wednesday.

Palin, the 44-year-old mother of five whose 17-year-old unmarried daughter is pregnant, is likely to be well prepared to defend herself in any ethics inquiry at the White House, where dozens of Bush administration figures have been prosecuted or resigned in disgrace, TheYellowDailyNews' analysis has concluded.

"That she is already battling an ethics inquiry means she would bring with her the experience needed in the White House to battle other scandals against her," said Republican strategist Jordan Lamey. "This is experience that is usually learned in the White House, not brought there."

By bringing to Washington her own scandal, Palin would likely one-up her predecessor, Vice President Dick Cheney. His chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, was convicted last year of corruption charges including perjury and obstruction of justice for outing CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity.

The Palin probe concerns whether she or others in her administration abused their power or improperly pressured an Alaskan state official to fire a state trooper who is Palin's ex-brother-in-law. Palin and her father have said Trooper Mike Wooten was a "loose cannon" who made threats against them.

The investigation received national attention Tuesday after Sen. John McCain, the Republican nominee for president, announced Palin as his running mate last Friday.

Still, Democratic strategists point out that Sen. Barack Obama, the Democrats' nomination for president, has tapped Sen. Joe Biden as his vice presidential candidate. Biden, a Delaware Democrat, underwent a plagiarism scandal in 1987, which forced him to drop out of that year's presidential race.

But independent analysts were unsure who was more qualified for the White House: a plagiarizer or a backstabber.

"I think somebody who can pilfer the words of others without flinching is more suited for the job," said Democratic strategist Jason Vetter, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "What better orator can there be?"

Republican strategists suggested somebody like Palin, who would hire and fire government officials based on family ties, is more suited to win the War on Terror.

"Girly men like Biden just talk, but Palin takes action," strategist Irvin Spewlosa said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "