Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Top ISIS Fighter Forced to Resign Amid Sexual Misconduct Allegations

RAQQA, Syria—(TYDN) One of the most heralded and violent ISIS fighters was forced to resign from the terror network Wednesday after being accused of unwanted sexual advances following a recent attack on the way to the caliphate, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Ali Amaki Amoka's resignation sent shockwaves throughout the terror network. ISIS said in an exclusive statement to TheYellowDailyNews that Amoka, 19, had been praised for hundreds of beheadings of innocent men, women and children. ISIS, however, said that even its most celebrated insurgent had to be removed in light of the groping allegation.
Ali Amaki Amoka. TYDN photo: Jon Alev Eikenes

"Amoka's presence on the slaughtering field will certainly be missed," ISIS said. "But ISIS will not tolerate the unbecoming conduct of unwanted sexual advances, other than the usual raping on the battlefield."

Sources familiar with the Amoka allegations, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to publicly discuss the case, said that Amoka was celebrating a recent car bombing that killed more than a dozen people, including women and children, outside a local hospital here.

"He was so excited by the kill that he slapped the buttocks of a fellow fighter while exulting that he just killed a dozen innocents," according to the source. "The victim reported this gross misconduct and Amoka immediately resigned."

Following the victim's allegations, several other insurgents reported similar conduct by Amoka in the battlefield.

TheYellowDailyNews is not releasing the names of these victims to protect their privacy. One of those victims told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity that he and Amoka had just slit the throats of several women and children they raped along the Syria-Turkey border when he was sexually attacked by Amoka.

"We were so excited watching the blood pool and Amoka high-fives me and then suddenly spanked me on the behind as we were exulting," the victim told TheYellowDailyNews. "I was so ashamed that I did not immediately report this gross violation of sexual misconduct."

U.S. President Donald Trump said the Amoka scandal underscores that the United States is winning the war against terror.

"It absolutely shocks the conscience that ISIS would have allowed this sexual predator to join its ranks in the first place," the president told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive Oval Office interview.

Amoka, who was awaiting his public execution at a Syrian prison, declined comment.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

ISIS pledges to stand during National Anthem before NFL stadium attacks

RAQQA, Syria—(TYDN) ISIS' top leader said late Thursday that the terror network would stand for the National Anthem ahead of its next NFL stadium game-day terror attack, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi 

The startling development comes amid a firestorm across the United States about whether NFL football players should stand during the National Anthem before their games. Many players have taken a knee to protest their hardships of only earning in a single day what many Americans earn in a year.

The players' protests has earned them harsh condemnation from US President Donald Trump, who says the demonstrations are unpatriotic. And ISIS agrees.

"We have instructed our insurgents to fight with honor, to stand for the National Anthem before their next NFL game-day stadium attack,"
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the ISIS leader, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview here at their Syrian headquarters. "It would be undignified were we not to honor the National Anthem before we slaughter thousands of innocent men, woman, and children on our road to the Caliphate."

In response, Trump took to Twitter to continue his rant against NFL players who refuse to stand during the National Anthem: "Thumbs up, ISIS—Thumbs down NFL! Fake NFL."

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has maintained that the players have the right to kneel or to stand during the National Anthem.

In an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, Goodell said that, despite ISIS joining the National Anthem debate, he will stick with an NFL policy to make standing at the discretion of each player.

What's more, he said that the same policy would apply to ISIS fighters attending an NFL stadium game-day attack. "The NFL won't hold anything against any ISIS fighter who chooses to kneel during the National Anthem ahead of a terror attack," Goodell told TheYellowDailyNews. "They have an absolute right to either stand or kneel, just like the players."

Saturday, September 16, 2017

ISIS claims responsibility for US President Donald Trump

ISIS acknowledges "Election Day" U.S. attack, prepares for another in 2020. Photo: YouTube
KOBANI, along the Syria-Turkey border—(TYDN) ISIS on Saturday claimed responsibility for U.S. President Donald Trump, in what many consider is the biggest terror attack unleashed on American soil since the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Intelligence analysts had always suspected ISIS was responsible for the Nov. 8, 2016 so-called "Election Day" attack. But the terror group confirmed the bold attack in a statement released on ISIS telegram channels late Saturday.

United States homeland security officials immediately raised the nation's terror threat level after picking up chatter online and in social media that ISIS was preparing for a repeat "Election Day" Donald Trump attack on Nov. 3, 2020.

"The Election Day terror that ISIS has already unleashed is unprecedented," a well-placed U.S. intelligence official told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "We cannot let another time bomb of this proportion happen again on U.S. soil." The intelligence official requested anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly.

In a related development, ISIS supporters took to the streets here Saturday celebrating after the terror network claimed responsibility for Friday's terror attack on a London Underground train, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Hands on: iPhone X is nasty, gorgeous, erotic and arousing

iPhone X is predicted to break up many marriages. Photo: TYDN

CUPERTINO, Calif.—(TYDN) Apple on Tuesday unveiled its most erotic model ever: the buxom iPhone X, complete with a sensual voice and supple curves. iPhone X is simply tantalizing and responsive to the touch, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The arousing model, in both black and white, is guaranteed movie-star parking wherever this eighth wonder of the world goes, whether it be to the Playboy Mansion or to the halls of Hustler Magazine.

After Apple executives showed off the new iPhone X model at the Steve Jobs Theater here, members of the media were treated to exclusive, hands on iPhone X lap dances. Well-placed reporters, including one from TheYellowDailyNews, were lucky enough to have received enhanced, and private lap dances with virgin iPhone X models that had just been unboxed. Tipping was optional, but encouraged.

Here is what members of the media were saying about iPhone X:

"I immediately proposed." —The Wall Street Journal

"I hope what happens in Steve Jobs Theater stays in Steve Jobs Theater." —The New York Times

"Wait, what, you don't need to plug it in? Simply counter intuitive." —Wired

"I picked the wrong time to stop drinking." —TheYellowDailyNews

"Feels just right in my pants." —Ars Technica

"The extended battery life lasted all day and night." —Viagra Daily

"She only speaks when spoken to." —Guns & Ammo