Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Romney Takes 6 Wives to Shore Up Mormon, Female and Minority Voters


Mitt Romney's 6 Wives. Photo: anyjazz65/Flickr 


WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) With just a month before the elections, GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has taken six wives -- distancing himself from his economic platform -- and instead focusing on trying to shore up female, minority and Mormon voters, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Romney was said to have married the wives -- ranging from Chinese, Japanese, Caucasian, African American and Mexican to Native American -- in a hastily called marathon ceremony at an undisclosed location, sources close to the nuptials told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity.

Campaign aides, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because they have not been authorized to speak to TheYellowDailyNews, said the marriages signify that Romney is now distancing himself from attacks on President Barack Obama's economic platform. Polls show voters are increasingly becoming more optimistic about the economy, and suggest voters are more likely to trust Obama on the economy and jobs.

Analysts said Romney's bold move marks the first time the campaign has turned from the ailing economy. "This political stunt, call it whatever you want, might just put Romney in the Oval Office," said Jerrold Wifler, a Georgetown University presidential historian. "I seriously doubt the Obama camp has the wherewithal to counter this."

But Obama aides quickly blasted Romney's strategy, calling the devout Mormon's move a farce.

"There is no way he could have consummated these marriages this weekend, so he technically isn't married and this is just a giant ruse," an Obama campaign aide with direct knowledge of the situation told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity. "Our medical experts say it's impossible, even with top-of-the-line male enhancement products."

But a Romney aide quickly fired back, suggesting the Obama camp was out of touch.

"Jesus Christ, haven't they ever watched a porno movie before?" a well-placed Romney operative said on condition of anonymity and was granted anonymity by TheYellowDailyNews.

The aide also said Romney promised not to push for multiple-wife tax credits until after the November elections.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get it up Mitt!!

anyjazz said...

That's FUNNY!