WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) Presidential rivals Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain turned on their vitriol meters Tuesday, labeling each other a "jackass" unfit to be the United States' commander in chief.
The jawboning came exactly two weeks ahead of the Nov. 4 general election. Revisionist historians said it was the first time in U.S. presidential politics that the candidates publicly used the J-word.
"You mean to tell me these guys only think the other one is only a big jackass?" asked Cal State Fullerton revisionist historian Harry Jeffers. "I don't think so. And I think the voters can see right through that."
A majority of likely voters polled by TheYellowDailyNews said they believed the candidates were, at a minimum, "a complete jackass." About 30 percent of respondents used language the Federal Communications Commission has prohibited TheYellowDailyNews from printing. The survey had a margin of error rate of 0 percentage points.
Aides were careful to review the speech with McCain several times, to assure themselves that McCain would not call Obama the N-word.
Later in Miami, Obama decried McCain as "a gigantic jackass Michelin-Man-lookalike, who is too weak to even lift his arms above his shoulders." Aides were careful to review the speech with Obama several times, to assure themselves that Obama would not call McCain an "aging jackass."
McCain countered hours later in Raleigh, N.C. He decried Obama as "a super-duper, supersized and gaping jackass." In Harrisburg, Pa., Obama called McCain a "jackass multiplied by infinity, to the third power."