Friday, March 30, 2012

Porn Stars Decry iPad Retina Display

CUPERTINO, Calif. -- (TYDN) Thousands of porn stars, some carrying placards reading "Apple Out of My Uterus," picketed outside Apple Inc. headquarters here Friday to protest the new high-resolution "retina display" iPads that analysts contend shows viewers "too much genitalia information," TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Police square off with porn stars protesting new iPad
The new iPad, with more than 3 million sold in three weeks, sports a 9.7-inch screen with a 2048 x 1536 display -- about twice the quality of an HD television. That's enough pixels to show porn starlets' every pimple, mole, pubic hair, stretch mark, dirty feet and even dental decay.

Analysts said the protest underscores an anomaly with the latest iPad, a device produced generally for porn viewing at home, in the park, on the subway or at work. That's because porn aficionados by the hundreds of thousands have stopped watching porn after having seen their favorite performers' imperfections displayed on the iPad3, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The iPad1 and the iPad2 were a boon for the porn industry, and now the iPad3 appears to be a bust for the $5 billion industry.

Baton-wielding, and tear-gas launching local police said they made as many as 100 arrests. Twelve scantily clad protestors were taken to nearby hospitals, and were treated and released for minor injuries, the authorities said.

"Christ, a lot of people thought porn stars' bodies were so perfect that they were next to God," porn analyst Peter North said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "That is until now with the new iPad. It's showing too much genitalia information, and it's starting to turn a lot of porn addicts off."

Apple shares tumbled in after-hours trading as news of the protest spread.

Porn starlet Cherry Garcia-Viagra, one of the picketers, said the newest iPad routinely highlights razor burns in her pubic region. "This makes it harder and harder for me to play the role of a 13-year-old virgin," Garcia-Viagra, the star of Teenies Do Weenies, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

In response to the picketing, Apple CEO Tim Cook said the gadget maker would donate 10,000 iPads to porn addicts to help them cure their addiction.

Meanwhile, state lawmakers across the country are mulling legislation requiring sex offenders to keep a fully charged iPad3 in their residences at all times.

Photo: Adam Scotti/Flickr

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Judge Says Execution Drug Needs FDA Approval

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) A federal judge Thursday blocked the importation of a drug used in executions on grounds the Food and Drug Administration has not tested the narcotic to determine if it is safe, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

U.S. District Judge Richard Leon sided with lawyers for condemned inmates who want to keep out sodium thiopental, because the highly potent sedative is an unapproved drug manufactured overseas.

"The FDA has not approved this dangerous and potent narcotic that will kill you by merely looking at it, so it cannot be used in executions," Leon wrote.

Analysts said it was the most rational death-penalty decision since 1978, when the Supreme Court ruled that executions did not breach the Eighth Amendment ban on cruel-and-unusual punishment.

The American Civil Liberties Union applauded the decision. "This might prevent unwarranted overdoses in the execution chamber," the group's executive director, Anthony Romero, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

The lone U.S. maker of sodium thiopental, Hospira Inc., halted production of the drug last year. The drug, marketed as a heavy sedative, was used off-label by corrections officials in executions across the country until its production halted.

Judge Leon's decision marked the first time a judge has demanded FDA approval of execution drugs.

The Obama administration told Judge Leon that the FDA has no jurisdiction over lethal-injection drugs. What's more, the administration argued that the dose of sodium thiopental administered to condemned inmates in dozens of states is enough to kill a man, and it is the first of a death-inducing, three-drug cocktail.

"What Judge Leon's decision means is that this death drug must go through the FDA approval process," White House spokesman Josh Earnest said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "Perhaps Judge Leon should volunteer as a subject as part of the approval process."

Leon ruled the FDA ignored federal law when it approved at least seven shipments of sodium thiopental without first ensuring that the drug was safe and effective, as required by FDA regulations. He ordered five states that had imported the drug -- Arizona, California, South Carolina, Georgia and Tennessee -- to send their batches to the FDA.

Photo: T. Darrell Sullivan Photography/Flickr