Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Millions Take to Streets to Protest COVID-19 Pandemic

WASHINGTON, DC—(TYDN) Carrying placards reading "COVID-19 out of my uterus," and "Coronavirus not in my backyard," tens of millions of people across the nation took to the streets Tuesday to protest the spread of the virus.

The rallies were the biggest the nation has seen following the largest-ever rally protesting the $2 increase per month for Netflix memberships.

Meantime, the main theme behind latest march, which drew record-sized crowds in many big cities across the nation, was that Americans were tired of being bullied around by the novel coronavirus.

"I'm here to tell the coronavirus that it's not welcome, that it should go back to where it came from," 32-year-old housewife Mary Menro, told TheYellowDailyNewws in an exclusive interview. "Because of social distancing, I've been forced to miss two, wait, three hair appointments!"

Similar stories were told at other rally hotspots as well. 

"My housecleaners and gardeners won't even come over right now. This is outrageous and the coronavirus needs to apologize because my toilets need cleaning and my lawn needs mowing," 41-year-old Jason Moritz, a software salesman, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview at the District of Columbia rally. 

In Hollywood, a group of plastic surgeons calling themselves "Plastic Surgeons Against the Coronavirus," protested the pandemic and said their overly profitable collagen-injection businesses were drying up.

"Personally, I used to inject 250 patients a week, and now I'm down to 200," surgeon Jamie Castrolovitch, told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview at the Los Angeles rally. "Pretty soon, if this keeps up, I'm going to have to fire one of my personal masseuses."