Thursday, October 9, 2014

ISIS To Field Olympic Team At 2016 Summer Games

KOBANI, along the Syria-Turkey border—(TYDN) The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, is to announce Thursday it is fielding an Olympic team for the 2016 summer games in Brazil, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Team ISIS, as it has been secretly called among its militant athletes, has been training clandestinely for the Rio De Janeiro games while engaged in massive sectarian violence here and in Iraq—while also defending itself from attacks by a United States-led military coalition.

Analysts said that, if ISIS survives the coalition bombings, it would be the 5,000th time a terror nation has entered an Olympic games.

Team ISIS badminton player practices in secret Syrian hideout. Photo: llee_wu/TYDN
What's more, analysts, who have been monitoring ISIS' sporting activities, suggest the terror nation could medal in several sports.

"They have this one guy, whose name I cannot even pronounce or spell, who is among the fiercest badminton players the world has ever seen," said Syrian sports agent Louis Anstein. "They've also got a few golfers who make Tiger Woods look like a novice."

Team ISIS sponsors include Royal Dutch Shell, Exxon Mobil, Chevron, BP, and ConocoPhillips.

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