Thursday, September 7, 2017

Florida convenience store braves hurricane to overcharge consumers

Hurricane Irma spins toward the Stop N Shop in Miami packing 175 mph winds.
MIAMI—(TYDN) A convenience store is being lauded by this city's mayor for bravery by remaining open as an impending Category 5 hurricane hurtles toward landfall, and charging customers upwards of $15 for a bottle of water, and $50 for six packs of beer, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

"This, once again, shows that Miami is working together to help everyone weather Hurricane Irma," Miami Mayor Tomás Pedro Regalado told reporters at a news conference outside the store here as he sipped on a $10 soda purchased from Stop N Shop. "Residents should take delight in the fact that Stop N Shop is making flashlight batteries for $15 each."

However, the US Justice Department, in response to an investigation by TheYellowDailyNews into Stop N Shop pricing, said it has opened an investigation into illegal price gouging, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

"Our laws normally do allow for the offering of goods and services at such outrageous prices that millions of people starve and go homeless," Justice Department spokesman Peter Van said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "But during times of emergency, it shocks the conscience that goods and services would be offered at such outrageous illegal prices that they could cause starvation and homelessness."

According to an exhaustive investigation by TheYellowDailyNews, the Stop N Shop was selling bags of chips for $25, feminine napkins for $9 each, Slurpees for $12, and donuts for $8 each. Toilet paper was $10 per roll, and baby food was priced at $25, and diapers $50 each.

After selling a reporter from TheYellowDailyNews a writing pen for $10 so the reporter could take notes because he left his pen at home, the Stop N Shop owner told TheYellowDailyNews that the Justice Department investigation is without merit.

"If pharmaceutical companies can charge $600 for blood thinner, I can charge $15 for a candy bar," Stop N Shop owner Jip Nazerian told TheYellowDailyNews in an exclusive interview. "If global warming continues, my best months are going to be in late summer, and not Christmas."