Monday, July 21, 2014

Supreme Court Rules Minorities, Poor and Gays Excluded From ObamaCare

Photo: David
WASHINGTON — (TYDN) The Supreme Court ruled unanimously Monday that President Barack Obama's centerpiece legislation providing health care to the masses, known as ObamaCare, does not cover minorities, the poor, and gays and lesbians, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

In overturning one of the most expensive and expansive pieces of social legislation approved in the modern era, the Supreme Court found that the plain language of the statute means that only the white, middle and upper classes are eligible for the health insurance program. That's because, buried inside the 20,000-page package, is express language prohibiting coverage for minorities, the poor, and gays and lesbians, Chief Justice John Roberts wrote.

"After careful analysis of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act that the president signed in 2010, we conclude that the plain language of the statute excludes minorities, the poor, and gays and lesbians," Roberts wrote for the majority. "It expressly says so on page 19,999."

Democrats suggested there must have been a typo when the bill was produced by the Government Printing Office. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews that he would demand a Justice Department investigation into what Washington insiders are calling "Typo-gate."

An analysis of the bill by TheYellowDailyNews analysis concluded that—on page 19,999—the legislation expressly says that "Minorities, the poor, and gays and lesbians are excluded from coverage." Democrats, however, said the bill should read: "Minorities, the poor, and gays and lesbians aren't excluded from coverage."

Obama, meanwhile, distanced himself from Typo-gate. In an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, he derided the nine-member high court as "a bunch of activist judges who achieved the results they wanted. This simply shocks the conscience."

Republicans, meanwhile, immediately exulted, saying they had contended all along that lawmakers would never have voted to approve a handout to the downtrodden, whom they call "the takers of society."

"That this measure was construed to provide health care to "the takers of society" simply shocks the conscience," House Speaker John Boehner said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "That's what the emergency room is for."

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