Wednesday, September 10, 2014

11 Tech Writers Killed in Stampede to Cover iPhone, iWatch Unveiling

CUPERTINO, Calif—As many as 11 tech writers were killed as they rushed into the Flint Performing Arts Center in Apple's hometown here to cover the unveiling of two new iPhones and the iWatch, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Sources said that the moment the center opened its gates Tuesday, a massive throng tried to enter at the same time—every reporter hoping to be among the world's first to get seated at an event that would showcase the world's most wonderful devices.

It was the largest number of reporters killed at the same time following the 2012 trampling of 10 tech writers trying to report about the unveiling of the iPhone 5.

The first emergency responders arriving to witness the media carnage. Photo: Keith Ivey/Special to TYDN
Because of the carnage, Apple representatives nearly called off the unveiling of the new iPhone 6, the iPhone 6 Plus and the iWatch. But Apple, fearing more media deaths, showed courage and went ahead with its keynote to announce the planet's greatest products, according to Apple insiders briefed on the matter.

At least 75 other reporters were rushed by ambulance to local hospitals—some of them in critical condition.

Media experts said the carnage could have been avoided. That's because Apple did not issue assigned seating to the media as mandated recently by the Federal Trade Commission. Instead, Apple's invitation to the press gave reporters "general admission" seating, and set off a free for all once the doors opened.

"This absolutely shocks the conscience that Apple, having lost 10 tech reporters in 2012, today still sends out its invites to the press as 'general admission' seating," said Stanford University sociologist Jane Havelstein, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This just doesn't make any sense at all."

The FTC and Apple declined comment.

Many of the tech writers who made their way inside the event unscaved didn't even know they trampled some of their competitors. Others said it was their job to report the news regardless of the consequences.

"I feel really bad for their families," one reporter fondling the new iPhone 6 told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic. "But this is really, really the most gorgeous device I've ever felt."

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