Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Jennifer Lawrence "Surprised" So Many People Wanted To See Her Naked

NEW YORK — (TYDN) Academy Award-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence was "absolutely shocked and surprised" that the world's Internet servers buckled when leaked nude photos of her appeared online this week, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Jennifer Lawrence. Photo: YouTube/TYDN

In a TheYellowDailyNews exclusive interview with the 24-year-old Hunger Games sensation, Lawrence said she was in disbelief that pictures of her without clothing were widely circulated on the Internet.
Kate Upton. Photo: J Chou/TYDN

"I'm repulsed that so many people want to see me naked," Lawrence said in her apartment here overlooking Central Park. "Don't people have anything better to do? I"m absolutely shocked and surprised that there was such a demand to see me naked."

Kate Upton had the same reaction for the nude pictures of her that circulated at the same time as did Lawrence's nude shots.

"People are absolutely sick," Upton said in a an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "Why people want to see me naked is just gross to think about."

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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

States With Legal Cannabis Deemed America's "Coolest" Places To Live, Survey Says

SEATTLE — (TYDN) The states of Washington and Colorado were voted Tuesday the nation's "coolest," TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

That's according to the findings of a reader survey conducted by Cannabis Today Magazine. The publication said the survey found that the No. 1 reason Washington and Colorado even entered the national consciousness was because voters in both states just legalized marijuana.

"The No. 1 thing our readers said was that they absolutely were in love with the idea of walking down the street with a joint in their pocket and not having to be paranoid about getting manhandled by the cops," said Jared Jomolkstein, editor of Cannabis Today Magazine, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "We viewed this as a strong indication from our readership that the coolest states in the nation were those with legal marijuana."

Washington and Colorado residents "stoked" on being able to legally buy weed this sweet. Photo: Dank Depot/TYDN

Cannabis Today Magazine's survey also found that the 23 states that have legalized marijuana for "medical" reasons were deemed the nation's "semi-coolest."

These states, which include those from Alaska to Vermont, have allowed "sick" patients to acquire a doctor's recommendation for them to legally use the drug.

Cannabis Today Magazine's readers said they downgraded these states  to "semi-coolest" because marijuana enthusiasts must pay a medical doctor about $100 a year for an annual "medical marijuana" license.

"Our survey showed that our readers absolutely think it's abhorrent they have to pay a doctor around $100 for an office visit to get a medical marijuana license. That means they have to pay the price for insulting themselves by feigning illness just for the right to get marijuana," Jomolksein said. "This simply shocks the conscience."

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Monday, September 1, 2014

Workers Give Thanks To Employers For Not Exploiting Them On Labor Day

WASHINGTON — (TYDN) Workers across American celebrated Labor Day, giving thanks Monday to a day free from being exploited by their employers, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

From tourists here at the nation's Capitol, to sightseers at the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, members of the nation's workforce enjoyed the day off either by shrugging aside their routine exploitation or pretending it does not exist.

San Francisco tourists pause to reflect on Labor Day, a day free from workforce exploitation. Photo: Jim Nix/TYDN
"I know that tomorrow, my boss, who doesn't have a clue and makes three times as much as me, is going to demand that I do something absolutely stupid. And I'll have no choice but to do it while keeping my mouth shut," said a middle-aged software salesman who was visiting San Francisco and declined to give his name out of fear of retribution from his employer during an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "But today, Labor Day, I'm not going to let that tool ruin my paid day off."

A woman admiring the Supreme Court building here, who works as an office manager at a law firm, said she was "happy" with her job and hoped one day that her employer's tax breaks would trickle down.

"I'm pretty happy that through my hard labor, my boss earns $25 annually off of my labor for every $1 it pays me a year," said the woman, who declined to give her name out of fear of retribution during an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "I've heard that some of my coworkers every day think that they might get fired. But I only worry about that a couple of times a week. I feel pretty lucky about that."

Still, millions of workers across America didn't have the day off Monday, according to an investigation by TheYellowDailyNews. Dozens of those workers, interviewed exclusively by TheYellowDailyNews, said they've become accustomed to being exploited by their employers even on Labor Day.

Henriette González, a cook at McDonald's in Phoenix, Arizona, said during an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews that her exploitation doesn't stop at McDonald's.

"After my shift," González said, "I work a second job washing dishes at the local pizzeria so I can afford McDonald's hamburgers for my kids."

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Friday, August 29, 2014

Apple iWatch Said to Tell Time, Insiders Say

CUPERTINO, Calif. — (TYDN) The iWatch, Apple's much-anticipated first foray into wearable devices, is expected to keep time, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Several Cupertino sources, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic, said the 2.5-inch watch Apple is expected to  unveil next week will be equally as gorgeous as it will be able to tell time from any location on earth.

Photo: Martin Hajek/TYDN
Because of the time-telling feature, analysts said Apple could sell 10 million units of the iWatch in its first six months on the market. Apple hasn't confirmed the iWatch, but several sources, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity, said Cupertino will unveil Sept. 9 a device that many are calling "the most gorgeous timepiece the world has ever seen."

Analysts, however, were taking Apple executives to task for not introducing a watch years earlier. Shareholders are expected to launch a class-action next week, alleging that Apple's shares would be as much as 18 percent higher had Apple debuted the iWatch by no later than 2012, according to people who have been briefed on the lawsuit.

"I mean, how could Apple not realize that all they had to do was slap their logo on a watch and they could increase its value ten-fold, instantly," Jada Parkstein, a Merrill Lynch financial analyst who covers Apple, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

To make up for lost time, Apple executives have agreed to double the number of Apple logos on the watch in a bid to increase sales.

Wall Street reacted to that news by sending Apple shares up 3 percent.

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Thursday, August 28, 2014

Bush Upset He Cited WMD, Not ISIS As Grounds To Invade Iraq

KENNEBUNKPORT, Maine — (TYDN) Former President George W. Bush said Thursday that he was having second thoughts on his decision to invade Iraq on grounds that he believed Iraq's then-president, Saddam Hussein, had weapons of mass destruction, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

"I should have picked ISIS, dammit," the nation's 43rd president said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews here at the Bush compound on Walker's Point. "Everybody hated Saddam, but everybody really hates ISIS."

Photo: Cliff/TYDN
Bush, in the 30-minute interview at the Bush family mansion here, said that 500,000 casualties resulting from the March 20, 2003 invasion might be more palatable had he given a legitimate reason to attack Iraq.

"I really think if we went after the right enemy to begin with, things would be different," said Bush, fresh from a mountain bike ride along his acreage that abuts the Atlantic Ocean.

War historians agreed, and said the former president showed great courage in his exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

"I think what the lesson here, and notwithstanding whether it will be followed, is that it's best to wage war not on a pretense, but for legitimate reasons," said University of Michigan history professor Rolf Gergstein, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "I mean, if you're going to war, and all of these people are going to be killed and lives uprooted, you might has well as benefit from it. I applaud Bush for now recognizing that."

ISIS—the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria—is a Sunni jihadist group in the Middle East, claiming authority over all Muslims across the globe, and is attempting to bring Iraq and Syria under its immediate control through brutal sectarian violence.

ISIS burst into global consciousness in June when its fighters seized Mosul, Iraq’s second-largest city, after moving into Iraq from their base in Syria.

The Iraqi Army disappeared and the group declared a "caliphate," or Islamic state, that erased borders and imposed Taliban-like rule over a large territory, killing thousands and displacing hundreds of thousands more.

In response, President Barack Obama is mulling an Iraq re-invasion strategy.

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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Explosion Kills Two Bloggers Testing iPhone 6 Sapphire Screen Durability; Screen Unscathed

SAN DIEGO — (TYDN) An explosion ripped through a small one-bedroom cottage here early Wednesday, killing two bloggers who were testing the durability of the new sapphire screen set to debut in the latest iPhone next month, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Police said the bloggers for MacDroolMag were strapping the explosive C-4 to a sapphire crystal that is said to be the new display for the upcoming iPhone 6. The bomb, however, set off before the bloggers could bring the explosive device outside to some nearby open space and video-tape their test, the authorities said.

Photo: Nick Savchenko, TYDN
Capt. Sherlock Smarms of the San Diego Police Department, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, said the 4.7-inch sapphire survived the blast and lived up to its indestructible reputation.

"We are extremely excited to announce that there wasn't a single scratch on the sapphire crystal," Smarms said. "We believe Apple is making the smart choice with this new sapphire screen."

The authorities withheld the bloggers' names pending notification of next of kin.

The screens are made of layers of man-made sapphire glass that render them able to withstand any force.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Texas Gov. Rick Perry's Criminal Defense Fund Accepting Bitcoin

AUSTIN, Texas — (TYDN) Fresh from being fingerprinted and his mug shot taken, Texas Gov. Rick Perry vowed to fight felony charges of abuse of power, saying Tuesday his defense fund was accepting the crypto currency Bitcoin, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The bold announcement from the Republican stunned pundits from both the left and the right. They said Perry's actions opened up a new currency bank for politicians to dip into when facing corruption charges. Perry's brazen move, these pundits added, takes on even more significance as politicians from across the United States are expected to face graft and other criminal allegations in the coming days, weeks and years.

Photo: Ed Schipul/TYDN
"Perry was the first to seize on the realpolitik that the cyber currency Bitcoin would become an essential underpinning of American political life," said Harvard University historian Klefpt Kilandorian, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This is why Perry's decision is so instrumental in ushering in a fundamental change to the political apparatus."

Bitcoin has been becoming popular. In recent months, Bitcoin ATM machines have cropped up across the country and many businesses have been accepting the new currency. Just last week, for example, the vending machines aboard the International Space Station began accepting bitcoin as payment for foodstuffs.

Perry insiders, meanwhile, said the potential 2016 GOP presidential candidate did not consider the wide-ranging precedent he'd be setting by using Bitcoin to help defend against criminal charges. Instead, Perry insiders told TheYellowDailyNews that the Texas governor's move to Bitcoin was a shot across the bow to Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg and the Travis County Grand Jury, which indicted him last week on corruption allegations.

Perry is accused of abusing his power after vetoing state funds for public corruption prosecutors. Perry, who has decried the indictment against him as outrageous, is expected to be arraigned Friday.

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Monday, August 25, 2014

FCC Fines CBS $1 Million For Uttering "Redskins" During Redskins Broadcast

WASHINGTON — (TYDN) The Federal Communications Commission levied Monday a $1 million fine against CBS for failing to bleep out the word "Redskins" during its Sunday broadcast of the Washington Redskins' pre-season game in Baltimore, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The FCC said CBS announcers during the Redskins matchup with the Baltimore Ravens uttered the word "Redskins" 212 times each on both its video and radio broadcasts Sunday. Media observers said it was the biggest breach of decency standards in the FCC's history of overseeing content on broadcast airwaves.

The fine, which could escalate, nearly doubles the $550,000 indecency sanction imposed on CBS for its 2004 Super Bowl halftime show in which singer Janet Jackson's right breast was exposed for less than a second to millions of prime-time viewers. A federal appeals court in 2008, however, overturned the FCC's indecency fine, ruling that Jackson's breast was "well shaped and pretty decent overall."

Meanwhile, Jackson's Nipplegate was tame in comparison to the Redskins broadcast debacle, an embarrassment that insiders are describing as "Redskinsgate."

"What makes this broadcast even more egregious is that indecent content began being uttered the moment the broadcast began Sunday, and it never stopped for three hours," a source familiar with the investigation told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity.

The commission also is poised to sanction CBS for failing to obscure from television viewers the word "Redskins" embroidered on the Redskins' jerseys, sources familiar with the investigation said. A preliminary analysis of the footage of the Redskins-Ravens game, obtained by TheYellowDailyNews, suggests CBS could have illegally exposed viewers to the "Redskins" jersey embroidery perhaps thousands of times Sunday.

Depending on the outcome of the FCC probe, fines of at least $2 million more could follow, officials said.

CBS announcers Boomer Esiason and Rich Gannon were repeatedly told by the network during commercial breaks to quit referring to the Redskins as the Redskins and to solely call the team, "Washington."

An FCC official, however, said that the commission was mulling questions from CBS and other broadcasters about whether they may call the Redskins team "Washington" without being fined.

"We want to know whether using the term 'Washington' is indecent speech," an NFL Network source told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Shares of Molson Coors Brewing Co. Soar Following "Fat-Burning" Beer Debut

GOLDEN, Colo. — (TYDN) Shares of Canada's Molson Coors Brewing Co. more than doubled Friday after the brewer unveiled an alcoholic, "fat-burning" beverage, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Coors Svelte, a robust dark ale with a 6.9 percent alcohol content by volume, will begin rolling out in the West Coast and appear in commercials on sporting broadcasts and in nudie-magazine print campaigns. The women's ale, called Coors Waif, is a Belgium-style ale with a gravity of 5 percent alcohol, and includes what sources familiar with the beer described as "just a tinge of natural Orange flavorings."

Before becoming Coors Waif testers. Photo: Malingering
Analysts said the proprietary formula, which just finished positive clinical trials on humans and monkeys, is the "Holy Grail" of ingredients that beermakers have been searching for—especially in the United States—where every 10 out of 10 Americans are considered obese.

"Say goodbye to the beer belly," Bank of America beverage-industry analyst Chip Johnson said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "This is the mother of all inventions. No, it's the Holy Grail of inventions that makes the debut of light beer three decades ago seem simply irrelevant."

Nutritionists are recommending that those overweight drink at least a 6-pack a day and those "extremely" obese intake at least a 12-pack daily.

"We urge those undertaking this diet to exercise caution when operating heavy equipment," the American Heart Association said in an exclusive statement to TheYellowDailyNews.

The U.S. Department of Labor cautioned employees to consult with their employers before commencing what regulators are calling the "Beer Diet."

Shares of Molson Coors on the New York Stock Exchange closed higher at $151.29, more than doubling from Friday's opening bell. The stock was up another 10 percent in after-hours trading.
Three weeks after becoming Coors Waif testers. Photo Bruno Casonato

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Thursday, August 21, 2014

International Space Station Vending Machines Accepting Bitcoin

ABOARD INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION — (TYDN) Vending machines here in this 205-mile-high research terminal on Thursday began accepting the digital currency Bitcoin, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The development, announced by the five global space agencies that maintain the station including the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, marks the first time a vending machine in space accepted the controversial, crypto currency. The Russian Orbital Segment and the United States Orbital Segment of the station each will carry a vending machine using Bitcoin as the method of payment.

The machines, which last year replaced a cafeteria that shuttered from budget cuts, carry shortbread cookies, cheese spread, creamed spinach, candy coated peanuts, beef steak and crackers—all packed in heavily sealed plastic. Liquids include bottled water, milk, orange juice, vodka and Coors beer.

Food dispensed from a Bitcoin vending machine aboard International Space Station. Photo: TYDN
Analysts said the move to Bitcoin would make it easier for all astronauts aboard the 6-crew station to purchase their daily meals. The vending machines in the Russian and American segments had been only accepting their home country's currency, inflaming visiting astronauts from other nations who either went hungry or who had to beg for change.

But under the new food-service plan, a Bitcoin-like ATM machine aboard the station will dispense Bitcoin with the input of a credit card or any of the dozens of known currencies that astronauts' home nations might use.

Nations hosting the International Space Station, which include the United States, Russia, the European Union, Japan and Canada doubled the prices of vending machine foodstuffs Thursday in hopes of preventing a food fight like the one aboard the station last year.

The melee erupted after a Japanese astronaut aboard the station was criticizing the Russian government for granting NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden temporary residency. The Russian onboard retorted with harsh words on Japan's pro-whaling policy—and the station became a floating fortress of floating food.

No injuries were reported.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Chinese Military DDoS Attack Knocks TYDN Offline, Sources Say

NEW YORK — (TYDN) The Federal Bureau of Investigation is probing Wednesday a suspected attack by the Chinese military on the popular news site TheYellowDailyNews, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The distributed, denial-of-service attack, known in Internet parlance as a DDoS attack, rendered the Pulitzer Prize-winning site offline for much of the day and into the evening Tuesday, sources familiar with the suspension of services told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic.

Analysts said it was the first time TheYellowDailyNews went offline following a suspected attack ordered by the Chinese government. The site went dark for months last year after a prolonged DDoS attack by Romanian hackers.

Authorities are investigating this malicious code. Photo: Bryan Jones/TYDN
TheYellowDailyNews' latest server overload, FBI sources said, came milliseconds after TheYellowDailyNews published a report that China's government had hacked every major U.S. corporation, from Altria to Yahoo.

The story, quoting anonymous sources within the U.S. government, told TheYellowDailyNews:

"I'm about to say something that people think is an exaggeration, but I think the evidence is pretty strong," the source said in an exclusive interview. "Every major company in the United States has already been penetrated by China. My greatest fear is that, rather than having a cyber-Pearl Harbor event, we will instead have this death of a thousand cuts. Where we lose our competitiveness by having all of our research and development stolen by the Chinese. And we never really see the single event that makes us do something about it. That it's always just below our pain threshold. That company after company in the United States spends millions, hundreds of millions, in some cases billions of dollars on R&D and that information goes free to China....After a while you can't compete."

James Comey, the FBI director, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, would neither confirm nor deny the Chinese hack of corporate America, or the attack on TheYellowDailyNews.

Rather, Comey said, he was investigating whether a maintenance bungle by the IT Department of TheYellowDailyNews took the site offline for much of the day Tuesday.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Actor-comedian Robin Williams Still Dead

TIBURON, Calif. — (TYDN) Robin Williams, the Oscar-winning comic and sitcom star who committed suicide last week is still dead, TheYellowDailyNews has learned. Williams was 63.

An autopsy Tuesday determined that Williams was still dead after hanging himself Aug. 12 in his mansion here in this exclusive neighborhood just north of San Francsico, sources with direct knowledge of Williams still being dead told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic.

News that Williams, dubbed "the funniest man alive" by Entertainment Weekly, was still dead rocked a nation already hypnotized by the film and television star's untimely demise. Ongoing online tributes on Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and a constant network television news cycle greeted the news of Williams still being dead with more tributes, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Royal Cinema tribute to Williams still being dead. Photo: Sean Connors
At a hastily called Tuesday news conference, Marin County officials told reporters that, indeed, Williams was still dead from hanging himself with a belt, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Lt. Keith Boyd, assistant chief deputy coroner, told stunned onlookers that his official autopsy confirmed a preliminary autopsy that Williams was still dead.

"The result of the forensic examination reveals that Mr. Williams' life ended from asphyxia due to hanging," Boyd said. "The forensic examination did not reveal any injuries indicating that Williams had been in a struggle or any altercation prior to death. Mr. Williams, regrettably, is still dead."

The shock from the announcement that Williams was still dead reverberated across the globe. Some fans reacted with touching tributes.

Boston fans chalked tributes and the words that Williams spoke in Good Will Hunting around the bench where he and Matt Damon filmed a scene for the movie, creating a singular memorial. Chalk footprints of where Williams sat were drawn on the bench, right above famous quotes from the movie, such as "Your move, chief."

At Los Angeles' Laugh Factory, the marquee read: "Robin Williams Rest In Peace Make God Laugh. We're sorry you're still dead."

In Boulder, Colo., where Mork & Mindy was set, fans stopped by the Mork & Mindy "house" to pay tribute to Williams still being dead.

The comedian Steve Martin best summed up the reaction to Williams still being dead. "I could not be more stunned that the mensch, great talent, acting partner, genuine soul is still dead."

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Monday, August 18, 2014

EXCLUSIVE: iPhone 6 Packaging is "Drool-Worthy" Gorgeous

SAN FRANCISCO — (TYDN) The box encompassing the upcoming iPhone 6 is a "drool-worthy gorgeous" design that is sure to make unboxing aficionados salivate, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Industry sources, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic, said the packaging for the latest iPhone will have four corners and be off-white. These sources, with direct knowledge of the packaging, also said the box will be emblazoned with the words "iPhone 6."

Photo: TYDN
Sources told TheYellowDailyNews that the top of the carton will also show a picture of Apple's latest smartphone, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Analysts said the box, if indeed a picture of the phone is atop it, would bring to six the number of iPhone versions in which the packaging contained a picture of the vaunted device.

"Apple has outdone itself with another drool-worthy gorgeous product packaging," analyst Charles Munster, with Smith Barney, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "I'm anticipating Apple will now sell 3 million more units because of this box's elegant design."

Apple is expected to unveil its new phone Sept. 9.

Reaction over the box from Apple fanboys was mixed.

Many members of the Cult of Mac were hoping for a black box, which would look much more sleek than a white box during their YouTube unboxing videos, according to exclusive interviews with TheYellowDailyNews.

"What is Apple thinking?" asked a disappointed Johnny Parslim, as he and thousands of others lined up outside the Apple retail store here ahead of the phone's launch in three weeks. "Christ, now I'm going to have to redo my unboxing video studio."

Others, however, couldn't wait to see the new, white box.

Rebecca Jornlorcho said she expects that the box will be "absolutely gorgeous." She can't wait to make her unboxing video.

"I might just live stream the box sitting there in all of its glory and unopened," she said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews. "I did that with my iPhone 5 last year and got 10 million hits."

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Friday, August 15, 2014

Family of Slain Ferguson, Mo. Teen Apologizes for Being African American

FERGUSON, Mo. — (TYDN) The family of an 18-year-old apologized Friday for being African American, saying Friday if they weren't black this suburban St. Louis community wouldn't be torn by the teen's shooting death and police wouldn't be under investigation, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

"Our hearts go out to the police department which is struggling with this ordeal, as are we," the family said in an exclusive statement to TheYellowDailyNews. "We feel terrible that our being black caused his death and brought this to our community."

The unarmed teen was shot multiple times by a white Ferguson police officer Sunday as the teen and another walked down a street. The death has prompted widespread protests here, reaction from President Barack Obama who said the episode was "heartbreaking," and an FBI investigation into the St. Louis County Police Department.

County Police Chief James Granitor said the department, which fired tear gas on protesters and deployed military tanks in the streets, said it was too early to consider the apology. The department, he said, was mulling whether to file a civil rights lawsuit against the family.

"The conduct here is simply outrageous," the chief said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

The slain teen was set to begin classes at a local community college.

Police said he attacked an officer. Eyewitnesses, however, dispute the police's account.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Gay, Transgender Groups Picket Google for Discriminating Against Homoglyphs

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — (TYDN) Gay, lesbian and transgender groups descended en masse on Google's main campus here Thursday to protest the media giant's newly revealed discrimination against homoglyphs, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Police said as many as 200 protesters were arrested in the melee. More than a dozen others were injured and taken to local hospitals in one of the biggest Googleplex protests following Google's decision last month to alter the interface of its clock app in the latest Android operating system.

On Thursday, Google's headquarters here was a tinderbox. Hundreds of protesters were seen carrying placards reading "Google Hates Homoglyphs;" "Shame on Google;" "Google Out of My Homoglyphs" and "Legalize Love: Google."

Photo: Jason/TYDN
"That Google chose to discriminate against any homoglyphs simply shocks the conscience," Pat Patterson, chairman of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, said in an exclusive interview here with TheYellowDailyNews. "We're not going to leave here until they stop this outrageous discrimination."

The crowd got even more agitated when a Google engineer addressed protesters and shouted through a megaphone that the search giant wasn't discriminating against their lifestyle.

Instead, engineer Mark Risher said Google just released a new spam filtering algorithm for its popular Gmail e-mail program, which he shouted "rejects duplicitous unicode homoglyphs."

Risher narrowly escaped with his life amid jeers from protesters claiming he was speaking in some underhanded code.

In an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, Risher said Google's homoglyphs discrimination actually benefits the gay, lesbian and transgender community.

"In fact, its good for everyone. We're just filtering out exploits in which nefarious people send links in email that have duplicitous unicode homoglyphs. You know, characters that look like letters in the alphabet but are not," Risher said. "We're trying to help people from getting malware on their machines. There's such a thing as a character that looks like the letter o but is in fact not the letter o. That's what we're filtering here."

Protesters began packing up after a helicopter in the sky dropped leaflets with a more detailed explanation of the discrimination.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Hollywood Man Arrested After Updating Facebook Profile With Child Pornography

HOLLYWOOD — (TYDN) The authorities here arrested a 42-year-old man who updated his Facebook profile with child pornography, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Hollywood police said John Tileagio was being held without bond Wednesday after several of his Facebook friends alerted the authorities to his new profile picture.

Photo: Spencer E. Holtaway/TYDN
Analysts said it was the first time in social-media history that child pornography was used as a profile picture.

"We always caution users of social media to remember that their profile picture personifies who you are," Gretchen Gringerson, the well-known social-media guru, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

Tileagio, in an exclusive jailhouse interview with TheYellowDailyNews, said he meant it as a joke to use a picture of his 1-year-old son's penis as his profile picture.

"I took this beautiful picture of my wife giving him a bath," said Tileagio, a freelance photographer. "I hadn't updated my Facebook picture in a while, so I updated it with a cropped picture of my kid's penis—just for laughs. And now I'm facing 5 years and being labeled a sex offender for life."

Tileagio is expected to make his first court appearance Friday.

His attorney, Wilma Smith, said her client is not guilty of child pornography charges.

"I was just a joke," she said. "That picture is no more offensive than most of the profile pictures on Facebook."

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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Gaza Survivors Pause Grieving to Mourn Robin Williams

JABALIYA, Gaza — (TYDN) Survivors of the 1,900 dead in the latest Palestinian-Israeli conflict paused their grieving here Tuesday to mourn the suicide death of comedian Robin Williams, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

Many of the tens of thousands here who lost loved ones along the Israeli border, where at least 10,000 homes have been destroyed by rocket fire during the latest Israeli offensive, said they were absolutely shocked that the Oscar-winning actor took his own life Monday.

"I really loved him in Good Morning, Vietnam," said Asmaa al-Ghoul, as he searched the rubble that once was his house where his wife and four children lived before an errant Israeli shell killed them all. "Nobody did it better in drag than Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire. It's a tragedy all around."

Asmaa al-Ghoul contemplates life without Robin Williams at his shelled house. Photo: United Nations/TYDN
Mental health experts feared the onset of a humanitarian crisis resulting from widespread depression throughout the region. All across the landscape, survivors were seen wailing uncontrollably over the loss of Williams.

"This could be worse than the gloom and doom I saw in the Somalia food distribution centers that set in when Whitney Houston overdosed a few years back," John Jasonian, an aid worker with CARE International, said in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews.

Meantime, officials from Hamas and Israel, already meeting in Cairo to broker a truce, announced Tuesday a day of mourning and a 24-hour cease fire out of respect for the Williams family.

"Our fighters know what it's like to lose a loved one," Hamas said in an exclusive statement to TheYellowDailyNews.

Williams, 63, was found dead Monday at his luxury home in the exclusive town of Tiburon, just north San Francisco. A preliminary investigation found the cause of death was suicide due to asphyxia.

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Monday, August 11, 2014

New York Times Abandons Courtesy Titles; We'll Miss You Mr. Honorifics

NEW YORK — (TYDN) The New York Times is updating its style guide and will no longer use honorifics—the courtesy titles such as Mr. or Ms. before a person's last name, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The move to drop honorifics, after more than a century in use, was announced Monday in a staff e-mail obtained by TheYellowDailyNews from publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr.

Photo: Ahmed Hashim/TYDN
In an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, Sulzberger said that courtesy titles simply don't make sense any more, and he's not sure if they ever did.

"I mean, we're having fights in the newsroom about whether Osama bin Laden should be called Mr. Bin Laden on second reference," he said. "Or whether to put Ms. or Mrs. on second reference before a woman's last name. Jesus, I don't even remember why we're doing this. Does anybody?  The Nazi style strict constructionists are gonna have a field day."

Sulzberger said he began mulling the changeover more than a year ago when WikiLeaks leaker Pvt. Bradley Manning said he wanted to be known as Chelsea Manning and live as a woman after being diagnosed with gender dysphoria. What's more, Sulzberger added that, as more states allow gay marriage, words such as "husband and wife" no longer are gender specific.

"I had this epiphany, that society has moved beyond gender norms, and so should The New York Times," Sulzberger said.

The new policy also drops the "he said" or "she said" attribution and instead requires just the last name of the speaker—such as "Jones said," according to Sulzberger's e-mail.

Reaction to the style change was mixed among staffers of The New York Times.

Some welcomed it and said the new policy showed that the stodgy newspaper of record's style guide was keeping up with the world it was covering.

Other staffers, however, objected, saying Sulzberger had taken the idea too far when  announcing unisex bathrooms would be the norm at the paper's offices and newsrooms.

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