Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Parents Smash Computers Amid Digital Drug Craze

by Charles Krotchmeir, TYDN I-Dosing Affairs Writer
OKLAHOMA, Kan. (TYDN) -- Parents across the United States began destroying their children's computers Wednesday amid revelations their offspring might be getting high on Internet digital drugs masked as MP3 music files, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

The computer devastation followed an Oklahoma News 9 broadcast here the day before that showed kids, some as young as 12, listening to music files that experts said induced a state of ecstasy. The newscast quoted leading drug authorities as saying certain music files found on certain music websites could be the gateway to real-world narcotics.

"Kids are going to flock to these sites just to see what it is about and it can lead them to other places,” Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs spokesman Mark Woodward told Oklahoma News 9 in an exclusive interview.
A firefighter stands guard as parents, school districts ignite computers

Analysts said the frenzied destruction of computers was the biggest such protest following the 1966 "The Jesus Controversy," when John Lennon said the Beatles had become "more popular than Jesus." Like the Beatles records that were smashed and burned, parents were seen whisking away their children's computers and destroying them in fires, with their fists and feet.

"We're seeing protestant-like behavior today that was akin to the height of The Jesus Controversy," said Jason Blaire, a Columbia University revisionist historian. "As then and now, there have been widespread reports of the protesters talking in tongues, too."

The Oklahoma News 9 broadcast was first reported early Wednesday on TheYellowDailyNews' website.

To be sure, the Mustang Public School District here is not taking the i-dosing threat lightly.

In response to the Pulitzer reporting from Oklahoma News 9, administrators banned iPods, cell phones and computers in hopes of preventing students from becoming "cyber-drug fiends."

Meanwhile, at least one student was injured during the computer carnage, TheYellowDailyNews has learned.

A 14-year-old freshman, whose name was not divulged to TheYellowDailyNews because of his age, was rushed to a local hospital when he got too close to his principal igniting his school's 200 computers, according to sources familiar with the situation, in exclusive interviews with TheYellowDailyNews. These sources told TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity that the boy was recently "i-dosing" and had bum-rushed the conflagration of computers while in a delirious state.

"Because of his i-dosing, the flames were crying out to him and calling him to come forward," one source told TheYellowDailyNews. The source told TheYellowDailyNews that the boy, who was listed in critical condition, suffered second-degree burns across 32.7 percent of his body.

Other allegedly more knowledgeable sources, speaking to TheYellowDailyNews on condition of anonymity, told TheYellowDailyNews that the boy was not i-dosing but instead was self immolating to protest the protest.

Photo: a shadow of my future

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