Thursday, August 7, 2008

McCain Embracing iPhone, Internet Porn

WASHINGTON -- (TYDN) Republican presidential contender Sen. John McCain, responding to weeks of criticism about his lack of Internet skills, told TheYellowDailyNews early Friday that he has become addicted to online porn, especially the cartoon variety.

The revelation to TheYellowDailyNews, in an exclusive interview at his office here, is certain to qualm criticism of the candidate's lack of computer sophistication. Analysts said the bold announcement is likely to help the Arizona senator shore up the undecided vote, and at the same time counter suggestions that the 71-year-old Vietnam War prisoner was too old and out of touch to lead the free world.

"I've answered the critics and have become schooled at Internet surfing," McCain said. "I have visited the top Internet sites, spending countless hours, and now ask the public to understand that it's OK and beneficial -- even for politicians -- to change positions often."

"I view flip flopping in a new light," added McCain, sporting blue jeans and a black turtleneck shirt.

While showing off his new iPhone to a reporter of TheYellowDailyNews, he said: "Porn on the go, and you can keep it in your pocket. I've set it on vibrate mode."

Despite a recession, the housing crisis, soaring food and gas prices and the war in Iraq, political analysts said it was the first time in U.S. electoral history presidential candidates broached issues near and dear to the American public.

"There's less than three months before Election Day, and finally, the candidates are speaking to the public," said Peter North, a political consultant from Chatsworth, Calif.

Democratic presidential contender Sen. Barack Obama, in an exclusive interview with TheYellowDailyNews, said McCain's recent discovery of Internet porn underscores "how out of touch he is with the American public and with technology."

"That he is only now familiarizing himself with online pornography is laughable at best," Obama said by telephone from his Chicago residence. "My wife, Michelle, and I are surfing for porn right now."

McCain, Obama added, "probably doesn't even know how to bookmark his porn sites."

Illustration: Jim Linwood

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